Have you ever experienced a tug on your soul? Maybe you felt the need to give someone a reassuring hug. Maybe you have decided to introduce yourself to a stranger. My heart has been guiding me, for what I believe, an awfully long time to this moment. “Mom. Blogger. Bossbabe.” Is a bit misleading. I am also an alcoholic. Thanks to my gift with words, the twelve-step program, and a tremendous amount of support from loved ones, I can honestly admit that I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable. BUT there is a solution. However, I am not writing this to haphazardly promote Alcoholics Anonymous. I am writing this because I know, if you are reading this right now, you are either just like me, or seek some understanding of those in your life that are like me. This is partly why I rebranded my blog.
Bringing it Into the Light
When I first started 4fteleven I was seeking purpose, fulfillment, and something to call my own. I mentioned in my very first post that I didn’t want to write like other bloggers, that I wanted to be real to my readers and write pieces with substance. I previously wrote some fluff pieces; things have changed in a year. Today, this very moment, I am sitting at my desk after leaving rehab; for the second time in three months. I know! Shocking, isn’t it? If you know me, probably not. You have likely watched me stumble in and out of bars and know I have developed quite the reputation these last few years. The phenomenon of craving grabs me so tightly at times I feel helpless. It begins with my mental obsession. The disease concept of alcoholism is a long-winded spiel, but I would rather introduce you to a new Hope.
A Road Less Travelled
I have a true Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality in active addiction. Luckily, I am not the only one. Why I rebranded my blog is to provide a source of inspiration, encouragement, and knowledge to those that are suffering and in recovery. Although I’d like for every post to have an optimistic and happy ending, that will not always be the case. Life is messy and being human is hard. There is, and always will be, a lot of darkness in the madness and attempts for sobriety. My job, as a fellow addict, is to shed light in these dark corners with brutal honesty, my own accountability, and share my personal experiences.
Please take solace in knowing you are not alone. I ask you, my readers, to reach out not only for yourselves but to others in need. I pray this journey of mine is the will of something greater than myself and I am thankful for the opportunity and gift to make something meaningful out of the mud. This is why I rebranded my blog. I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing several others in recovery and you can read their experiences here. It’s going to be a long road, but I hope you will join me.
If you or someone you know is struggling in recovery or in active addiction please click here for help.