Kids are hard, man. My son can go from perfect angelic baby to spawn of satan in 2.5 seconds. Luckily, this doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, it’s the worst. He’s been having a very hard time lately apologizing for his bad behavior, and giving attitude. Yesterday I swear, I tried every parenting tactic in the book. I acknowledged his emotion of anger and said I understood, which seemed to resonate with him, but once he realized he was still grounded from that godforsaken iPad, all hell broke loose all over again. It was terrible.

                I was talking about it at work with some of the girls in my office and they all parent differently. One of them made her children do wall squats with a roll of paper towels on their legs. Another told me to take my son to a psychologist. Everyone has an opinion on how to effectively parent. I feel like sometimes it’s overwhelming and discouraging. Then the mom-guilt begins.

                “Maybe I don’t give him enough attention”… Maybe I don’t. But you know what? I do my best. No, I don’t sit down and have 2 full hours of quality time with him every single day, but I talk to him about his day on the way home in the car, I make him dinner, I read him a story before bed. Some days it’s all I can do to just make sure he stays alive. Other days I’m super mom and plan fun activities and take pictures with him.  

                One of my go-to moves when I feel that rush of guilt is to stop whatever I am doing (cooking, cleaning, etc) and have a conversation with my son. 10 minutes or less. I just go see what he’s up to, check on him. It seems silly, but even just peeping into his room and saying “hey, you good buddy?” helps a lot. It also reminds him that Mommy is not too busy for him.

When mom-guilt begins to loom, take a deep breath. Think about the pictures you’ve taken, the temper-tantrums, and the fact that you’re a human being. You cannot be all the things, all the time, all at once. You can, however, take one day at a time and that is perfectly fine. You deserve to be your own person (not attached to the hip of a toddler). You absolutely deserve that piece of cake after dinner, a bubble bath after bed-time stories, whatever you like to pamper yourself or unwind. When Tuesday is a little too much, remember that Wednesday is a new day and you can try again.

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8 Comments

  1. I think you have become a great mom! As hard as it maybe the best parenting is doing what you know works at that time! And follow through…. rules have consequences…life is hard as adults when rules got set aside to often so you can be a happy kid not the spawn of satans!!! Lol

    1. Thanks Dee! Rules do have consequences…unlike in your house where strangers give him juice boxes and you return a devil child to me. LOL

  2. What really helped my mom guild is when Kennedy started preschool. She is the literal devil at home, and I was convinced I had completely messed up. But her teacher continually told me how sweet she is, and polite and caring and helpful to others. I was like ohhh you do hear the things I’m trying to teach you!! Love the blog girl!!

    1. Zane’s daycare lady tells me every day how sweet and good he is! I’m always like “yeah…okay….” lmao He’s better than he was, for sure. lol

  3. I’m not a mom yet but I am a preschool teacher and I understand those mods switches! I love that you are communicating with him and acknowledging his feelings. And I am glad you are taking steps so that you don’t feel guilty for being human!

  4. This is great. Mom guilt is literally the devil. My therapist has been teaching me about self-compassion. Whenever I feel bad now I walk around and give myself a pep talk the way I’d hype up a friend who is down on herself. It sounds silly but it works so well. Lol.

  5. Oh my word, it’s good to know I’m not the only one. Kids are so well behaved with other people and really try their luck with us.
    Thank you for sharing. Everyday is different. And doing your best is all you can do.

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